Category Archives: Living Room

My favourite Monstera.

I know I said the next post would be all about the master bedroom, but A) I still haven’t found a bed base I like (and while mattresses on recycled pallets can look industrial-chic, I think mattresses on the floor just look povo) and B) I haven’t finished the fabric jewellery board I’m aiming to take pride of place on the rear wall. I’ve also been annoyingly hindered by a nasty throat infection I may or may not have brought upon myself by inhaling a kilogram of teak dust over the weekend. Sanding back wood without the proper PPE is like clubbing past the age of 30: it seems harmless enough at the time but inevitably leaves you dirty, nauseous and consumed with self-loathing.

So instead, I’d like to introduce the latest addition to the household; a baby Monstera deliciosa I paid way too much for at a local florist’s last week while walking home from the pub. Serves me right for drunken plant-perving, I guess.

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Monstera deliciosa (also known as Split-leaf philodendron; Fruit Salad Plant), artfully positioned to disguise the leaf damage I caused by dropping my phone on it).

I have a particular fondness for MD’s, as my Mum kept a gorgeous specimen in our living room for years when I was a kid. When I bought this one, it had already outgrown the pot so much that its roots were climbing over the edges and crawling through the drainage holes. I immediately transplanted it into a much bigger pot, thinking I was doing the right thing giving my new baby room to breathe and grow and maybe even dance a little when I wasn’t watching, but it turns out I may have screwed up – apparently when repotting you’re only supposed to go up another inch or so in pot size to avoid the roots taking in too much water and developing rot.

I don’t want to traumatise it by repotting again so soon, so I’ll keep it dry for a bit and see what happens. Seeing as it is Dry July and all, I might give myself the same treatment. Or if not for the entire month, at least until I find another route home.

New living room.

So I finally got around to snapping a few shots of the flat. Overall it’s old and tired and a bit grungy (a bit like myself TBH), but the wood floors, neutral paint scheme and large rooms make it liveable. The living/dining room is the closest to being “done”, so I’ll start there.

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Are you feeling the understated earthy retro whimsical rustic industrial vibe or what?

I brought the coffee table and the green faux persian with me from Perth. The coffee table is vintage MCM, bought on Gumtree for $100. couch1

The couch is new. I was after another 2.5 seater in charcoal but didn’t have as much cash to spare this time, so I was thrilled to find this one at Furniture Galore for $550. It came with ugly blocky black plastic feet, which I swapped out with tapered timber legs I bought online and stained. They look a bit stumpy from this angle, but they’re actually 10cm high and have completely altered the look of the couch.

Speaking of stumpy…Hans is not allowed within one metre of the couch at any time.

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The cactus painting, cactus statue and cushions were bought from Freedom a few years ago. The Eames bird was an online buy and I found the green pot at a Mexican import store in Fremantle.

I have two fruit bowls in the flat, neither of which contain fruit.

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The hardwood dining table was another Gumtree find. The legs were originally raw welded steel that I spray painted black. The table top itself must weigh over 100 kilos, and even though I had a 100+ kilo Maori helping me (thanks, baby!), dragging it up three flights of stairs nearly destroyed me.

The chairs are cheapies from Fantastic Furniture, but they’re surprisingly sturdier and more comfortable than the typical Eames knock-offs.

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Both the fabric print and the Parker dresser are from a vintage furniture store in Fitzroy. The dresser was dull and dirty and covered in flecks of white paint, but it scrubbed up real nice after a thorough clean and oil. I was a bit hesitant about buying the print because it couldn’t be cleaned, but I figured I don’t have to touch it to appreciate it, right? And any fabric that reminds me of the fabulous curtains that my grandparents hung in their caravan in the 70’s should be a no-brainer.

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I sent the vase, stand and fake foliage over from Perth, and I wasn’t expecting them to make the trip unscathed. The leaf tips got a bit bent when they fell out of the mailing tubes I packed them in, but I actually think it makes them look more realistic. At least that’s what I keep telling myself to feel better about it.

Stay tuned…the master bedroom and accompanying vibe is up next!

Hans, Destroyer of Worlds.

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 Swap out the joint with an Asahi and this will be me in six months.

Last year I was in the market for a new couch. Because I’m fussy, tall and prone to spontaneous naps, I have very particular requirements vis-à-vis style, length and seat depth. After a lengthy search fraught with unspeakable horrors, I found a couch that ticked all the boxes. I absolutely loved it, and the way it handled two sets of sweaty deliverymen and a destructive housemate without incurring a single blemish showed it loved me right back. Behold its unmolested glory:

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Photo by Duvall Davis

Unfortunately, it was no match for a four month old puppy with needle-sharp teeth and a fabric fetish. Earlier in the week, I recklessly left Hans unsupervised in the living room for one minute while I made my morning coffee. I returned to a scene of unparalleled carnage.

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Ok, so this probably isn’t my actual couch. But the sight of a soggy, flayed mess of non-removeable cushion felt just as devastating. Once I’d stopped screaming and eased myself out of the foetal position, the threads were cut away to reveal the extent of the damage.

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Not the worst bald patch I’ve ever seen, but unsightly nonetheless.

It’s not like Hans is short of toys and bones to chew on; he just prefers fabric. He’s ruined shirts, towels, blankets and now, my perfect couch. I used to laugh at old women that covered their “good” furniture in plastic; now I fear I’m destined to join their ranks.

As for Hans, he’s just lucky he’s so darn cute.

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Photo by Duvall Davis

Sourced images courtesy of Your Modern Style Home and Jennifer Michie.